


if you're not the one for me who is

by mikar1n



Category: Ensemble Stars, enstars
Genre: Angst, Canon Universe, Emotional Hurt, M/M, brainrot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:14:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27668027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikar1n/pseuds/mikar1n
Summary: I never intended to fall. I never intended it to last until that point. I never intended to love you.But I did and I know, that if I had the choice, I'd do it all over again.I'd fall for you all over again.I'd take you back in a heartbeat if it means having you for longer.
Relationships: Izumi Sena/Leo Tsukinaga, Leo Tsukinaga/Izumi Sena
Kudos: 23





	if you're not the one for me who is

**Author's Note:**

> This is in Izumi Sena's Point of View.

I only had two rules.

One, don't let any of your feelings bloom, they're faint? okay. Let them stay faint. Doesn't matter if it's love or hate, if it's becoming strong, don't let it.  
And Two, Dont. Go back. To your decisions. You left, you sent that letter, you said those words and that's it. No more take backs, you did that so you own it. 

And can you believe it? Leo Tsukinaga made me unnoticeably break both rules.

He made me fall. He made me feel all kinds of things and he made me love.

I came back. I looked back. I turned back. For him. 

"I told you you didn’t know how much I loved you." He said.  
No, Leo, you got it all wrong. You never knew how much I loved you. 

The way you'd sway me at whatever you do. The way you showed me all shades of love while I acted like I wasn't interested when in reality, you're all I've ever wanted.  
Not those stupid banners you'd make at my birthday, not those ribbons you'd wrap around your body to call yourself 'The gift’or 'My gift'. 

You. You're the one I wanted.

So why'd you have to leave? 

It was hell when I had to watch all of yumenosaki unravel without you.  
It was hell when knights never got to resolve their problems with your absence.  
It was hell when all our conversations replayed in my mind, reminding me of what it was like when you were around.  
It was hell when we had to deal with all of this without you.  
Fuck. Who am I even kidding? It was hell when you weren't there.

But I knew.

I knew it was never your fault.

I knew it was the stress building up inside you.  
I knew it was the unending negative thoughts that reside within your mind.  
I knew it wasn't Tsukasa or any of the members.

I knew it was me.

I want to. Leo, I'd chase over you if I could. 

But it's not like I have a choice.

I knew. Leo, I knew no one's loved me like you. I knew no one's made me feel this much before. 

When you weren't around, it felt like another part of me was absent. Like my other half was missing. 

I hope you knew how much I wanted you.  
I hope you knew how much I loved you.  
I never intended to give you up. I never meant to let you walk away like that.  
I never intended to fall. I never intended it to last until that point. I never intended to love you.

But I did and I know, that if I had the choice, I'd do it all over again.

I'd fall for you all over again.  
I'd take you back in a heartbeat if it means having you for longer.

I knew I wouldn't have had the strength to say more if I heard your voice.  
If I saw your face.  
If I looked back at the only person I'd give everything up for.

So I ended it.

Everything.

Our friendship, our connections. 

God, I wish I didn't.

But it's not like I have a choice.

"Why does it matter?" Oh, trust me Leo, I ask myself the same question everyday.

I don't know why it mattered so much.  
I don't know why you mattered so much.

You shouldn't. It shouldn't. I came here to become one thing, and one of them wasn't to become your lover. 

So why'd I have to be so attached to someone I never planned I'd fall for?

I'm sorry, Leo. I really am. I really did love you. I want to say I still do.

But I don't. I don't have a choice.


End file.
